My dearest Janeen
I sit here in the dark at a warm campfire staring at the stars. A million thoughts run through my mind. This time last year...when did she actually leave us? I think of her sweet little face, that button nose. I can hear her giggle in my mind and it makes me smile. I can see her breastfed chubby thighs and bare feet with tiny nubby toes. She would have loved her siblings so much. It's not fair. It's just so not fair. She would have been lucky to be raised by you. You are a strong beautiful and gentle mama. I watch you with your babies and your patience and sweetness leaves me inspired in my own parenting. She would have wanted you to live mama. She would have wanted you to carry the light luggage and she would have wanted you to enjoy a life she didn't get to. Because of her you should choose to live and go and do all those things. She IS with you and always will be just beneath your chest. No one can ever take that away. A mother and baby can never part in spirit. Talk to her and take her with you....Always. I wish I were with you again tonight. I wish I could pour us a stiff drink and laugh and imagine and remember together. I wish we could sing Happy birthday together. I love you friend. Be good to yourself today. Take care of Willows mama.
All my heart....
R
